


Accidents don't just happen accidentally

by Whit Merule (whit_merule)



Series: Re-cognition [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Accidental Pregnancy, F/M, Fluff and Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-03
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-06-06 01:57:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6733330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whit_merule/pseuds/Whit%20Merule
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oh, whoops, looks like the 'good luck' Gabriel blessed Sam with extends to accidental condom breakage. What a pity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Accidents don't just happen accidentally

**Author's Note:**

> Set about eight months after the end of _Twinning_.

Jody put a double-sized mug of coffee in front of Sam and dropped a kiss on his head, which was usual. Then she sat at the table opposite him and cleared her throat, which wasn’t.

Sam looked up from his laptop with a questioning look.

“So,” she said conversationally, “you remember that time two weeks ago when the condom broke?”

Sam blinked very slowly.

“And I said it was fine because it was the wrong time of month, but I’d get a morning-after tomorrow to be safe,” said Jody.

“And then Dean rang in the middle of the night and there was that thing with those two bitter ex-angels, and what with one thing and the other I spent the next four days between life-and-death situations and managing the fall-out at the station,” said Jody.

“With no time for stopping by the pharmacy,” said Jody.

“And you know how I haven’t got my period since then,” said Jody.

“Well, I peed on a stick this morning,” said Jody.

“You should probably put that mug down if you aren’t going to drink from it,” said Jody. “It’s been slowly tilting sideways in your hand and I think it’s about to spill on your keyboard.”

“And I’m guessing you’ve already figured what the little stick said,” said Jody.

Jody stopped talking, and raised her eyebrows at Sam.

“….” said Sam.

“…?” said Sam.

“….!!!!!!” said Sam.

“… I’ve gotta call Gabriel,” said Sam.

“Huh,” said Jody. “Not the reaction I expected. Though I guess he _does_ have a history with unexpected pregnancies.”

“Wards,” said Sam. “That thing he did for Dean and me. Hiding us from any supernatural perception. And the good luck thing. And—and—shit, shit, this kid is going to need to much protection.”

“Hm.” Jody hid a smile. “Not even an ‘are you going to keep it’?”

“Shit,” said Sam again. “Shit, sorry, I— _Jody_.”

There was so much panic in his eyes that she stood up and came around the table to him. His hand reached out helplessly to her as she came, and she folded it between hers and kissed him.

“Easy there, handsome.”

“Are you _sure_?”

“Well, yes; but you know it’s early days. There’s a good chance it won’t make it.”

Sam sat bolt upright. “We’ve gotta get the angels to protect it. Oh my god, _Dean_. Dean’s going to flip his shit. He’ll panic, he’ll—you won’t be able to breathe without him trying to make sure you’re okay, he’s going to be the most protective besotted uncle ever, you know how he is with Amanda, Jody, and now he’ll have his whole mothers-must-be-protected thing with you and the baby will be _mine_ so he’ll—Shit, a _dad_. Jody, Jody, are you _sure_?”

“So.” said Jody dryly, “I take it you’re expecting to stick around, then?”

Sam just stared at her.

“I—if you want me?”

She hugged him, and pressed her face into the top of his head.

“Just promise me one thing,” she said quietly. “No zombies.”

Sam squeezed her, almost too hard, then let go all at once with a worried noise and splayed his huge hands over her back and sides as gently as if every inch of her was a bruise.

“No zombies,” he vowed. “No vampires, no werewolves, no demons, no angels we don’t trust, no Leviathan, no time travel, no—no _apocalypses_. No vengeful ex-monsters who’ve worked out they’re just as deadly with a shotgun as they ever were with fangs. I’ll make it safe, Jody. For all of you.”

“Well,” she said, “I’d rather have you here.”

 

***

 

Gabriel perched on top of the refrigerator, ruffled his feathers, and peered down at them with one beady black eye. Somehow, even with a beak, he always managed to look like he was grinning.

“You know,” he complained, “back in the day, people used to be satisfied with miracles in the form of plausibly deniable rip currents springing up just as some chariots were trying to chase after them across a narrow inlet as the tide was coming in. Nowadays it’s all, ‘oh, place all these highly specific wards upon my cluster of dividing cells, Gabriel, watch over every step of this baby’s life, Gabriel, I’ll take you back to the shop and demand a refund if the kid scrapes its knee, Gabriel’.”

“If you can’t do it—” began Dean menacingly, waving his finger at the raven.

“Wait,” said Sam, momentarily distracted from paternal terrors, “the flight of the Israelites—?”

“I think it’s going to be a girl,” said Castiel, staring at Jody’s midriff with starry eyes. “Do you think it’s going to be a girl, Amanda?”

Amanda sicked up on Castiel’s shirt.

“You realise what you’ve let us all in for,” said Claire to Jody, without heat.

“Safe sex is  _important_ ,” added Alex smugly.


End file.
